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ae0fcc31ae342fd3a1346ebb1f342fcb Take a social media hiatus while you and your partner are apart. Will you have sex with other people? Will you communicate with one another sporadically or regularly? Will you engage in couples therapy and meet once a week for this sole purpose? Making sure you're on the same page about what "taking a break" means can prevent a world of hurt and distrust down the road. If you can listen to each other and make the necessary changes, then your break was successful.Įmily Mendez, M.S.Ensure you and your partner have a shared understanding of what a break means. Once the break period is over and you reconnect, be sure to have an open and honest conversation about what you did during your time apart, what you’ve learned, what you want from the relationship and each other, and what needs to change for the future.
#Taking a break how to
“There are tons of blog posts and YouTube tutorials on how to practice this, and it’s definitely something worth learning during a ‘break.’” “ Active listening is at the core of every healthy relationship and can solve a lot of communication issues,” Mendez says. For example, if there are communication issues, try learning some active listening techniques. EdS, also suggests using this time to develop healthy coping strategies for when there’s conflict in the relationship. Psychotherapist and writer, Emily Mendez, M.S. “Being able to clearly and effectively communicate their needs will help them repair conflicts better.” “They can focus on gaining clarity about their individual feelings and relationship needs moving forward, which will help them better communicate their needs and feelings to one another once they get together again,” Ghanbari says. In order to have a successful break, it’s helpful for both partners to take this time to self-reflect.
#Taking a break professional
In some cases, talking to a professional can help, especially if there are underlying issues that may contribute to unhealthy relationship behavior. Being around friends and talking it out can also help you figure out what you really want. You can work out your thoughts through journaling or you can think things through over some long walks in the evening. “It’s a reorientation inward.”īreaks are meant to help you figure out what’s going wrong in the relationship, how you’re really feeling, and what you want to do moving forward. “Taking a break is not a withdrawal,” Ilsley says. Although it’s completely normal, it’s also important to put yourself in the right mindset. You may find yourself feeling stressed, depressed, lonely, and uncertain about the future. How To Actually Take A Break From A RelationshipĮven if you know that a brief separation is the best move for your relationship right now, it can still feel like an actual breakup. This is done to prevent more stress, uncertainty, and fear of abandonment in partners, Ghanbari says. Most importantly, you and your partner need to agree on a day when you’ll reconnect. That way, your partner won’t have the word “breakup” in the back of their mind. “If the phrase ‘taking a break’ carries a certain charge to it, you may have to find another way to redefine your time apart.” Instead of saying, “I want a break from us,” you may want to ask for space, a relationship hiatus, or time to reevaluate things. “Be mindful of your language,” Ilsley says. For some, dating other people is OK, while others might consider that cheating. And unless you want to end up arguing about it later (à la Ross and Rachel, aka the patron saints of this particular relationship fight), you should also be very clear about what being on a break actually means. “If one partner is not in agreement with the break, it can lead to feelings of resentment and alienation for that partner,” Ghanbari says. That means both partners should be 100% on board. “Although it’s possible that one partner initiates it, the underlying how should always be considered together.” “Because relationships are collaborative by nature, this means that the decision to take a break should be mutual,” therapist Janine Ilsley, LMSW, tells Bustle.
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In fact, psychotherapist Parisa Ghanbari tells Bustle, “ Taking a break in a relationship can be helpful in stopping and deescalating unhealthy relationship dynamics.” But how can you take a break from a relationship in a way that leads to a positive outcome? According to experts, there are a few key things to keep in mind.īefore you put your relationship on pause, it’s important to have an open conversation with your partner. Despite what some tend to believe, putting your relationship on pause temporarily doesn’t mean you’ll inevitably breakup. If you and your partner can’t seem to agree on anything, you fight over the same things over and over again, and you seem to have more bad days than good, it might be time to consider taking a break from your relationship.